That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Year.
As we consider the TV offerings of the recent year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. From awkward spin-offs to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
The 'Sex and the City' Sequel
How to start with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series started, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was almost the smallest of this show's problems. The recipient of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Performances so bad they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Given the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
The Gangster Drama
Dodgy figures convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.
Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which seemed rather simplistic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the experience was like consuming a sales catalogue. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt icky.
The Sketch Show Return
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.
Prime Target
We love the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.
